Phir Toote Gee

abhee toote gee yeh khamoshi, dekhna
kaale asmaan ki chaadar jaise ki chaak kisi ne
aankhein chandiya jaayein gee
sunaai kam de gaa
josh-e-khoon aur bhee tez
bauhat tez
rang ufaq kaa
rang sharam kaa
rang barham kaa
rang mere rukhsaar kaa
mere girne ki awaaz
chand aur darajaat phisalne ki awaaz
aur me apne naye darje ko pasti-e-tamaam samjhoon gaa
phir phisalne tak
khamoshi ke phir tootne tak
chan se, phir toote gee

this silence will break again, watch
like someone cut open the black veil of the night
your eyes will be dazzled
you will hear less
fury of blood, even more
much more
color of horizon
color of shame
color of anger
color of my cheeks
sound of my demise
sound of slipping a few more levels below
and I will believe that this was the final fall
till I fall again
till the silence shatters again
clashing, it will shatter again

Thought of the Day

Mujh se naraaz meri zimmedaariyon kyoun ho?
Nibh chuko naa sahi, zer-e-ghor-o-fikr tau ho!
Koi kheenche idhar, koi kheenche udhar, koi kheenche kidhar
hai yeh nazuk khel-e-tawaazun, tum poochte ho khare kyoun ho?

Enraged, my responsibilities, you are with me, but why?
Though not taken care off, at least you are under consideration
I am pulled this way, that way, every which way
It's a fine act of balance, and you question why I continue to stand?

Faiz Ahmed Faiz Aur Fareeda Khanum

I came across this beautiful rendition of Faiz's Chand Nikale Kisi Jaanib by Fareeda Khanum. My ex-vocal teacher Azalea happens to be in Lahore these days learning from none other than Fareeda Khanum herself.

Chaand nikle kisi jaanib teri zebaai kaa
Rang badle kisi surat shab-e-tanhaai kaa

Daulat-e-lab se phir ae khusrav-e-shireen-dahan
Aaj rizaa ho koi harf shanaasaai kaa

Aik baar aur maseeha-e-dil-e-dil-zadagaaN
Koi waada, koi iqraar masihaai kaa

Deedaa-o-dil ko sambhaalo ke sar-e-shaam-e-firaaq
Saaz-o-saamaan baham pohancha hai rusvaai kaa

I was thinking about posting a translation of this, but I am not worthy. So I'll rather explain it in pieces for those like me. If anyone has any corrections, suggestions, please email me or comment.

First couplet is pretty easy to understand so I'll leave it untouched.

Second couplet:

"khusrav-e-shireen-dahan" - something to the effect of sweet lips of purity or royalty.
"rizaa" - expend
"shanaasaai" - acquaintance

Third couplet:

"masihaai" - prophecy

Fourth couplet:

"deedaa" - sight
"sar-e-shaam-e-firaaq" - beginning of the evening of separation
"baham" - together

Fettucine Alfredo

BTW, just for the record, I make one mean fettucine alfredo. I don't even like white sauce pasta (pasta should be red and with lots of spice and tomatoes), but yaoooza can I make this thing right! Mmmmm!

Meem starts work

Meem got an awesome job at TD Waterhouse, and today is her first day. We got up nice and early (6ish) and were out and about in the car at 7:30. I was expecting lots of traffic because of the stupid OC Transpo, but it wasn't bad at all actually. We were at her office in about 15 minutes, and then we just sat in the car and chilled till about 8:05. I then dropped her off and left for my office in Gatineau. I was here at 8:30, not bad at all. But it wasn't snowing today, so let's see how horrible it can get one of these days.

Meem sent me a text from work saying she loves her office, its pretty lively, and funny and stupid people too. Apparently she already had an Indian/Pakistani conversation. Not sure what that means, have to get more details on that. I've never had an Indian/Pakistani conversation on my first day at job.

Meem seemed happy - reluctant but happy - I'm looking forward to her becoming an individual and getting out of the shadows a bit. She's definitely a talented biatch, just needs to realize it a bit more.

Rang Baatein Karein

Hum teri yaad se
Qatra ke guzar jaate magar
Raah me phoolon ke lab, saaiyon ke gaisu aaye

Rang baatein karein
Aur baaton se khushbu aaye

Need Somebody

I need somebody to talk to. I need help. Anyone?

Be careful what you wish for ...

I remember being 16, plucking away at my guitar, and trying to think of stuff to write about. I'd make shit up. Fictitous shit. Not having any experiences worth telling of my own, I invented lyrics. 12 years later, life's given me enough shit to write books about. Be careful what you wish for, you just may end up getting it.

Who are you light?

There is so much that I need to understand about light. It's a whole new medium to me. These paths seem familiar, and I've definitely crossed them before as a musician. As a kid, wondering and trying hard to understand how exactly a song sounded the way it did. Not even knowing the different instruments, mixing, panning, etc. I kept wondering and wondering, and gradually it all became clear. Like breathing. Of course. This is how.

I need to go stand in front of a good painting (from the days when there was no artificial light, yet the artists knew the very nature of the light to be able to create something of that sophistication from their imagination - my God what brains must they have). And look at it! For hours, with the same child like curiosity. Leaving my ego out at the door. Admitting that I know nothing, and ready to absorb it all. Only then can learning of any form take place. Otherwise its just random mimicry. And those come dime a dozen.

Thought of the day

Quoting the LahoreNama entry for today:

“To traverse distance is child’s play: henceforth pay visits by means of thought; it is not worth while to visit any person, and there is no virtue in bodily presence”

Bikhar jaaon raakh ban ker tere ghar ki raahon pe
Gar tu sajda-o-bosa kare her subha her shaam galiyon me.

I'll turn to dust in the ways to your home
Only if you promise to kneel and kiss the ground each morning, every eve.